Had a horrible, horrible night that ended where me and one other aide were on the floor. Each of us had 20 or so patients apiece and a huge percentage were incontinent.
We set a goddamn record: Ten diaper changes, three of them necessitating a complete bed strip-down, in one hour and fifteen minutes. Beat that!
Elderly Insane Female Patient, as we pull back her diaper to get her cleaned up:
"Ohohohoho, cover my balls up!"